I know. And I get that, the...being fucking terrified of doing that to someone else. I'm the same way, if I'm running things I can't really deal with like, even the slightest resistance cause immediately I think that I'm actually forcing them and...well, it's shitty. So I understand the feeling and I don't want to do that to you.
I promise to tell you if anything changes. Or, try.
I'm glad we're having this conversation now, cause a couple of months ago I might not have been able to make that promise and mean it. But I'm getting better at things like this recently. I've been working really hard at it, actually.
If it changes and you can't tell me, tell your wife. I am sure she will make sure I don't fuck up again. [ She seems as fond and protective of Vax as he is of her. And Vane respects her ]
That is good. It's... Telling people what you want and not accepting things you don't want is hard. Took me years. [ He is not entirely sure he is over it entirely. But alright, enough about the past. ]
Alright, so what you would like is some more roughness again? The slaps and spanking and all that? Tying you up too?
Sort of, yeah. In general just don't treat me like glass. Not just when we're fucking, either. Even when we're in public just running into each other it feels like you're trying to wrap me in cotton sometimes. [That's probably not how he'd have put it ten minutes ago, but now they've gotten on the 'don't want to hurt you' thread, it feels like as good a way as any to express it.]
[ He is at least going to try. He pours himself another drink. How the fuck did he end up here. This was so much easier when he didn't fucking care. Maybe that is what he should go back to, it sounds tempting, doesn't it. ]
[Vax isn't completely happy with how this has gone. He didn't want to make Vane feel like he was doing anything wrong, and he can hear those drinks being poured. He feels safe guessing that Vane isn't suddenly really dedicated to proper hydration.]
I get why you got different with me. I do. You didn't want to hurt me, and I...that means more to me than you probably know.
But I fucked things up by doing so. It won't happen again. [ He is planning to do his damn best to make sure he can actually stick to that. No fucking things up with Vax. ]
You alright though? Besides that. The Tanglethorn is taken care of?
Tie you up with vines? It wasn't a bad look for either one of you, you know.
And I like to be sure. I'd hate for you to feel... desperate. [ You can hear the grin in Vane's words at that. Teasing, trying to see if he can rile Vax up or if the half-elf won't take the bait. ]
You can't blame a man for trying, Vax, you'd do the same if it was me on that pollen.
[Or Vax would already be on his bed.
He takes a breath and then nods. It is probably best not to go see Vax when he is on this, it is a little harder to be rougher with him them after all. ]
Alright, let me know when you're back to your old self and I am going to make sure you get a taste of the rougher side of me again.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-11-19 09:17 pm (UTC)I promise to tell you if anything changes. Or, try.
I'm glad we're having this conversation now, cause a couple of months ago I might not have been able to make that promise and mean it. But I'm getting better at things like this recently. I've been working really hard at it, actually.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-20 07:31 am (UTC)That is good. It's... Telling people what you want and not accepting things you don't want is hard. Took me years. [ He is not entirely sure he is over it entirely. But alright, enough about the past. ]
Alright, so what you would like is some more roughness again? The slaps and spanking and all that? Tying you up too?
no subject
Date: 2019-11-20 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-11-20 09:33 am (UTC)Alright. I am sorry about that, I'll do better.
[ He is at least going to try. He pours himself another drink. How the fuck did he end up here. This was so much easier when he didn't fucking care. Maybe that is what he should go back to, it sounds tempting, doesn't it. ]
I'll try next time I see you around.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-21 09:51 pm (UTC)I get why you got different with me. I do. You didn't want to hurt me, and I...that means more to me than you probably know.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-23 10:04 pm (UTC)You alright though? Besides that. The Tanglethorn is taken care of?
no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 05:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 06:09 pm (UTC)And I like to be sure. I'd hate for you to feel... desperate. [ You can hear the grin in Vane's words at that. Teasing, trying to see if he can rile Vax up or if the half-elf won't take the bait. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-24 09:13 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm sure the question was completely altruistic. [Casual as you please:] Don't be a greedy slut, pretty.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 08:43 pm (UTC)[Or Vax would already be on his bed.
He takes a breath and then nods. It is probably best not to go see Vax when he is on this, it is a little harder to be rougher with him them after all. ]
Alright, let me know when you're back to your old self and I am going to make sure you get a taste of the rougher side of me again.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-25 09:36 pm (UTC)Good. I'll look you up. Can't wait, Chazzy.